21 Weeks 3 Days

I am 21 weeks and 3 days today. I was 21 weeks 3 days four years ago when I delivered our three girls. I was huge. I was measuring beyond 40 weeks. I couldn't fit in a bathroom stall. I had to stand sideways at the sink. I couldn't bend over. I was also retaining water at an unbelievable rate. My skin was pulled so tight that it felt like the crispy skin on a Thanksgiving turkey. It hurt to touch and I couldn't even bear to look at it to see the damage. My legs were swelling fast, I kept saying that I felt like I was embalmed (as if I should know how that feels but it was the only way I could describe it). When my face started to swell I knew something was wrong, I knew it was preeclampsia. I did some things that I should have never been allowed to do by my doctor. We traveled to St. Louis for Thanksgiving that year. I was already being medicated for high blood pressure. We drove through a blizzard. What normally takes 7 hours, took us 11. George set up the back of our new Suburban (purchased to hold the triplets) so I could put my feet up. I couldn't sit that way without a seat belt in that weather especially. I needed a seat belt. At the start of the trip I felt all of their movement. Six legs and six arms, I could tell who was moving where. I knew where they all were in my tummy. George's family had a beautiful baby shower for us when we got there. I remember that I couldn't wear my shoes for the party because my feet were starting to swell so much. I could also barely button my shirt I brought to wear. I kept telling everyone that I was growing every minute and that I didn't feel the girls move anymore. They were all reassuring me that there probably wasn't much room for them to move around anymore. I still worried. I got the worst headache of my life. Whether it's the all telling preeclampia headache or just a tension headache, I'll never know but looking back all of these things were warning signs. Just before this trip to St. Louis we also made another trip that we should have never been allowed to do. We went to the famous Biltmore Spa in Arizona. It was to replace the trip we planned to take to Italy. Yes, we had tickets to go to Italy and my doctor even okayed it! My better judgement told me that we shouldn't go. A trip to spa sounded much better. It was to be our last hurrah, our last luxury vacation before parenthood. And it was. We had spa treatments everyday and spent our days lounging by the beautiful pools. A couple of problems though, the flights were really hard on me. I couldn't walk from gate to gate without stopping every few minutes to catch my breath. When we arrived at the resort, we had to get a room closer to everything else since I couldn't seem to walk very far. To this day, memories of that trip are painful to remember and I can't stand any kind of spa treatment. Yes, you heard me right. I haven't been able to do anything spa like since. Makes me sick to my stomach.
I never did recover after these trips, but there was probably never a chance. I spent my days on the couch. Except I couldn't get off the couch, the cushions seemed to swallow me up. George took them off and replaced them with a firmer futon mattress we had. My swelling was getting out of control and the pressure I was feeling was so painful I could hardly stand. We went to the emergency room one night to make sure everything was okay. The doctor on call okayed everything even though she never even took a urine analysis (if she had, she surely would have seen preeclampsia). My blood pressure was sky high. I was literally shaking with fear. Then we heard all three heartbeats and I felt better. I wasn't having any contractions and my blood pressure went down a little bit. I asked her about the swelling and pressure I was feeling. She said I had triple the amount of blood flow that this is normal. She missed the most obvious signs and warnings of preeclampsia and she sent me home. A week later I called the doctor's office and told them my face was swelling, that I think I have preeclampsia. The nurse said preeclampsia doesn't happen in the second trimester (wrong!) but if it made me feel better, I could come in. I did. I drove myself and thought how hard it was to maneuver the car being so huge. I was wearing George's clothes, I couldn't even get maternity clothes on. At this doctor's office, they have you take your own urine test when you arrive. I immediately saw that my protein levels were off the charts. I showed the nurse. She told me to hold on to the test and have a seat. The office was crowded and very busy and I sat there holding on to the tip of my urine soaked test in front of everyone as my heart started beating faster and faster. I knew this wasn't good, I knew I was sick, I knew I wasn't leaving that hospital for a long time. When I finally got to see my doctor I had put on too much weight (water weight) and my blood pressure was off the charts. He told me I needed to go to Labor & Delivery right away...

to be continued...