7 Weeks

I'm nauseous but not nearly as nauseous as I was with the triplets. I'm hoping it doesn't get worse. I'm telling myself that this is another pregnancy, a different experience. I already feel so much different than the last time. I crave nothing but fresh, fresh food. No meat, no noodles, nothing processed, nothing sugary. I'm eating small amounts throughout the day and I eat very slowly. This seems to help a lot. After my cold salad kick ended, I'm onto veggie sandwiches. I can't get enough O.J. which I don't normally drink. I was a dead giveaway for a pregnant woman in the grocery today. My cart was filled with bags of oranges, grapefruits, sweet potatoes and orange juice. Talk about needing some vitamin C! I saw the doctor at almost 6 weeks since I'm high risk. They did an ultrasound and we saw the baby's heartbeat! So far so good.
SIZE OF BABY: Chocolate Sprinkle

In Short

My reaction to this pregnancy is a result of not only trying to get pregnant for 6 years, to finally becoming pregnant and having three little girls that I was forced to deliver so I could live, to not ever wanting to get pregnant again. So, here I am. Here we are. In this scary, shocking, and hopeful world of another pregnancy. A track we jumped from 4 years ago only to experience the wonderful miracle of adoption and wanting to experience it again and again. Now we're back on this track hoping and praying for a happy ending. Please come along as I try to keep my sanity, keep my feet on the ground, and take baby steps towards this little miracle called LIFE growing inside me.

This Is How We Found Out

We had just gotten back from a week on the island with my family. I was still so worn out from that trip. I was hoping I would regain my energy but I didn't. I was beat, just exhausted. I finally said to George that if I'm not pregnant then something was wrong with me. We quickly counted the days and saw that I was a couple days late. By now it was Wednesday, our 1 year anniversary of having Magnolia, it was our Family Day. Now I had the worry of a pregnancy weighing on my mind. I didn't want that worry, I wanted to go on with my day celebrating with Magnolia. I made a quick trip to Walmart to buy a pregnancy test and stopped home to take it. It was near lunchtime and Magnolia was getting antsy. I took the test, left the bathroom to fix her shoes that were coming off and quickly grabbed some things so we could head out the door again to have lunch. Before leaving I ran into the bathroom to see the usual negative test only to see a VERY clear positive pregnancy test! What?! What?! What?! I started shaking, I couldn't breath, how did this happen? What?! Let me look at that test one more time. Yes, it's positive, very, very positive. I'm scared, very scared. I'll call my sister. Of course, she's excited. She reminds me what's done is done, I need to start accepting this, that I'll be just fine. I can't breath, I need to get out of this house. I realize that I just got pregnant the same time 4 years ago, that I will have the same due date! Oh, this is going to be so hard...

(I'm going to tell my story in bits & pieces because it's just too long to do at once and too draining emotionally to relive. Please bear with me as you come to understand my fears and anxieties about being pregnant. This will be a different kind of blog than Magnolia's. This is going to be a lot deeper as I'm facing my greatest fear and reliving a traumatic experience but hoping for a very happy ending!)