We had just gotten back from a week on the island with my family. I was still so worn out from that trip. I was hoping I would regain my energy but I didn't. I was beat, just exhausted. I finally said to George that if I'm not pregnant then something was wrong with me. We quickly counted the days and saw that I was a couple days late. By now it was Wednesday, our 1 year anniversary of having Magnolia, it was our Family Day. Now I had the worry of a pregnancy weighing on my mind. I didn't want that worry, I wanted to go on with my day celebrating with Magnolia. I made a quick trip to Walmart to buy a pregnancy test and stopped home to take it. It was near lunchtime and Magnolia was getting antsy. I took the test, left the bathroom to fix her shoes that were coming off and quickly grabbed some things so we could head out the door again to have lunch. Before leaving I ran into the bathroom to see the usual negative test only to see a VERY clear positive pregnancy test! What?! What?! What?! I started shaking, I couldn't breath, how did this happen? What?! Let me look at that test one more time. Yes, it's positive, very, very positive. I'm scared, very scared. I'll call my sister. Of course, she's excited. She reminds me what's done is done, I need to start accepting this, that I'll be just fine. I can't breath, I need to get out of this house. I realize that I just got pregnant the same time 4 years ago, that I will have the same due date! Oh, this is going to be so hard...
(I'm going to tell my story in bits & pieces because it's just too long to do at once and too draining emotionally to relive. Please bear with me as you come to understand my fears and anxieties about being pregnant. This will be a different kind of blog than Magnolia's. This is going to be a lot deeper as I'm facing my greatest fear and reliving a traumatic experience but hoping for a very happy ending!)
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